A person doesn’t settle for crumbs unless she is starving, scared or ashamed.
I grew up in an environment where survival became a fortress. It helped me endure as a child, but it also became a prison.
Later I settled in relationships, conversations and circumstances that were not life giving.
Eating “beneath the table” seemed safe, like a fort my brothers and I built as children. Instead of tattered quilts and sheets pulled off from beds, shame and fear draped the sides. Lies clamped the self-protective blankets and held them in place.
Crumbs fail to feed our God given hunger.
Yet I settled for crumbs because I believed the clamoring lies.
You don’t deserve anything else.
There is no room for you at the table.
You are not worthy to sit with the others.
You will never get out.
You will never get it right.
If they really knew you…
I had a choice to make.
Do I believe the lies that feel true or do I believe the truth that seems like a lie?
Christ squatted down and met me beneath the table. We have such a loving God who meets us where we are.
He didn’t give me bigger crumbs.
He didn’t shame me. He cupped my face and asked me to trust him. He extended his hand of grace and helped me to stand.
He led me out me out because our faith is not deepened in our forts of safety.
He is calling me to be strong and courageous, to put my trust in Him, to leave the shoreline of safety, and practice vulnerability. Ouch, right?
Friend, it’s far more than I could have ever asked or imagined.
If you’ve settled for crumbs in any area, I understand. You are not alone. It’s an incredibly hard place.
Will you join me at the table? I am saving you a seat.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Is. 43:19